I GOT A CAR! Well...my brother got a car, and he gave me his old one. He says he's gonna name the new one he got Cecilia. She's a silver, 2001 Jetta. Heh, I guess "Heidi" is gonna have to undergo a sex change. What should I name a white '98 Jetta? (Male names only!)

Very Bad News:

My parents sold the family business. This means two important things; we will have no permanent source of income, and they will be at home all day. We aren't living very comfortably as it is and my mom has had it hard because of my dad's lack of foresight when it comes to financial and work decisions. I can see that this is another one of his terribly planned decisions. I wish I were in a situation where I could at least provide for my mother, but I can't. Well, the positive part is that I can't dislike him any more than I already do. Actually, I don't have an active hatred for the man, it's more like an indifference or ambivalence towards him.

On a lesser note (but of more immediate significance), my freedom will be seriously curbed. It's hard enough to deal with my parents on the weekends. I must escape. I'm contemplating becoming a CF (what they call RA's at my school). I'm not making enough to move out at the moment, but I'm always on the lookout for a better job.

I know it sounds like a very selfish and teenage outlook, but as an adult, I do things my own way, much to the dismay of my parents. It seems like I do things hapahazardly sometimes, but I think about most of what I do. I realized this over the weekend, when my mom was criticizing me. It becomes grating and I don't want to hate my parents. I love them, and things will be better between us if I see them in my own time, instead of all the time.

It's about time they retire, but I think it'd be better if they went to live with their families overseas instead of being old, lonely and struggling to survive financially here. I want to care for them, but with the way things are, it's hard enough to go to school and support myself; let alone support my parents and pay bills at the same time.

I feel terrible about it; they raised me and cared for me and I'm still helpless to take care of them. They worked so hard for my brother and me but I can't do anything worthwhile yet. *sigh* I can barely make enough money to take care of my own ass (apart from food and rent). Money, that's all it comes down to. I hate the stuff but I can't take care of my family without it.

Other Bad News:

I think I'm coming down with something. I hope it's not the mono that's been going around school lately. Disgusting. I didn't even get it the good way.